Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We had to coat check the pizza.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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