Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
