party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
