It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
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It's never too late to be topless.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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