We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.