My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
