If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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