Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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