Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The chlamydia really affected his face.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
