marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
