Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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