If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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