This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
