You're completely useless in the revolution.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
