I want to make a zoo with you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
