i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
