I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
