K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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