I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
