I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
