is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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