Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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