My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
