White coat. Heels.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
