what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
