Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So vagazzling was a success
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
