I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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