When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
