Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
