I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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