There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Success! We fucked roommates!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
