Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
