I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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