Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
