I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
