Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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