Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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