I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
