He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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