i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
