i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
be right there i have to get my cape
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
