If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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