Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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