is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I would ride that face into the sunset
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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