Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
