It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
