And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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