when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
