You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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