I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize