wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
