Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
