I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
zippers are such a cool invention
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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