He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
