So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
