please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Found the puke drawer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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