Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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