dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So vagazzling was a success
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
